29 December 2010

Patience

"To wait is not merely to remain impassive. It is to expect--to look for with patience, and also with submission. It is to long for, but not impatiently; to look for, but not to fret at the delay; to watch for, but not restlessly; to feel that if he does not come, we will acquiesce, and yet to refuse to let the mind acquiesce in the feeling that he will not come."


- Dr. A.B. Davidson, Waiting on God (quoted in The Hidden Life of Prayer by David McIntyre)



I'm honored that you would read New Mercy and I would love to hear from you through comments!Teresa (Tracy) Dear

10 December 2010

Generational Pattern

My daughter was in counseling for a while to help her deal with anxiety (fear). I was considering taking my son to the same counselor to help him learn techniques to deal with anger. Who do they remind me of?

No matter my struggle to deal with fear Biblically, my daughter still does. No matter what I try to teach him about anger, my son still slams doors and clenches his fists.

We hung out with a nice Christian family (I don't consider us to be a "nice" family, I guess) yesterday. Their three year old stared in shock at my 5 year old when she didn't come the first time I called. Their ten year old stared in confusion when my oldest two were sniping back and forth and bickering over Lego game rules.

I'm tired of people praising me with the modifier "for your situation" all the time.

I am just always surprised to see how disfunctional we are sometimes. Argh. This morning I took my youngest two to the grocery store on a bagel run. No, they hadn't had breakfast yet. Two meltdowns. Not a pretty picture walking back to the car.

But then James came home from his VA disability appointment. He had a sleep study to verify if he had sleep apnea. The nurse told him that they would monitor him for three hours and then wake him up and put him on a CPAP machine if neccessary. When he was awakened he asked her if he passed. She said that, no, he actually failed miserably, that only 30 minutes had elapsed and he had stopped breathing so many times that they were putting him on the CPAP then.

That is great news! He will get a machine next month and it's nearly certain that his disability will be adjusted. But BEST OF ALL, he got a full night's sleep last night and woke this morning refreshed and optimistic. When he did so poorly on the test he realized anew that I've been keeping him alive for 9 years.

I didn't know this till recently, but

Major signs and symptoms of sleep apnea:


  • Loud and chronic snoring
  • Choking, snorting, or gasping during sleep
  • Long pauses in breathing
  • Daytime sleepiness, no matter how much time you spend in bed

Other common signs and symptoms of sleep apnea include:

  • Waking up with a dry mouth or sore throat
  • Morning headaches
  • Restless or fitful sleep
  • Forgetfulness and difficulty concentrating
  • Moodiness, irritability, or depression

This sounds JUST LIKE James. How exciting to think that a CPAP could improve our lives so much! He was cheerful, hopeful, and laughing. His face was open and inviting. It was so nice.

I'm honored that you would read New Mercy and
I would love to hear from you through comments!Teresa (Tracy) Dear




08 December 2010

Early to Rise


God making us a beautiful sunrise each morning and us sleeping through it is like making a cup of coffee for a loved one that it is left to become cold.

God longs for us to meet with him each day and pour out our worries and hopes. If we slighted our friends and family like that for months soon we would be left alone.

I'm honored that you would read New Mercy and I would love to hear from you through comments!Teresa (Tracy) Dear