30 December 2009

Comparison One

James and I camping in CA, 1999,
in the AF, pre-kids, pre-dog,
married maybe a little over a year

I want to begin a series of posts that are comparison stories. A few things have struck me recently that were stark comparisons between my life now and 'before.'

For instance, even 14 years ago, we already knew that one day we would be married to each other. James and I used to go to the grocery store together. Even though we'd just be picking up some stuff for a day at the lake, we'd wink at each other when we passed by the diaper/ baby food aisle, and the dog food aisle, and say "we don't need any of that stuff!" to each other. Now, of course, we have been shopping in the diaper aisle for nearly 9 years (four kids) and the dog food aisle for over 11years (three dogs). So, the winking was short-lived.

Another example is our dates. When we were dating, we used to go to the Wal-Mart toy aisle with a roll or two of pennies. James would drop them while he pretended to shop, and I would linger, watching him, down at the endcap. We would giggle when we heard the scampering of feet rushing toward the sound of money falling on the floor. He would pretend to not notice that he had dropped the pennies and would walk casually away, while unknown delighted children would scoop up the pennies as fast as they could. Now, we tend to use date time to run to Home Depot- if we even have a date. Mostly we spend time together when the kids are all in bed (finally!). We either cook (ok, he cooks) and eat something delicious or curl up and I watch a movie while James snores.

Another example I just thought of is writing. Oh! We used to write to each other! (OK- secret time. I have no less than five 3-ring binders with chronologically stored love letters in page protectors. Three binders for my letters to him, and two for his to me. Labelled as such. I know.) We have poems and "our song" and letters and windshield notes and cards and all of it. Now, it's mostly text messages that quickly get deleted along the lines of "whr r u?" or "whn back?" or "milk asap." *sigh*

Psalm 42:1-4

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long,

"Where is your God?"
These things I remember as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.

It's in the crummy times that we forget the good times... but we should recall them and be thankful for them. Thank you, God, for sustaining me with memories from the past and hope for the future. Teach me to be content in the present. Thank you for being in charge of everything.

I'm honored that you would read New Mercy and
I would love to hear from you through comments!
Teresa (Tracy) Dear