11 November 2009


I was totally struck on page 55 of Jantsen's Gift: A True Story of Grief, Rescue, and Grace because it could have been written by me- this is practically verbatim the story of how I came to know that God was a real personality, alive today, and interested in me personally. I was 17 years old.

"...I went straight to my bedroom and locked the door. The anger and hopelessness welled inside me, so brawny and muscular it felt like my insides were being beaten to a pulp... The emotions were suffocating... I felt exhausted... I CANNOT LIVE THIS LIFE. I CANNOT FORGE A LIFE OF MEANING FROM THIS SORROW. PLEASE... I WANT TO FEEL SOME PEACE. PLEASE. And immediately a response came... which felt like it was emanating not so much from the sky as from my own heart, was generous and clear, and just like that, it happened. All the rage and sadness were gone, mid-sob. The feeling was so unequivocal, it was as if I could physically sense the panic exiting my body, atom by miserable atom. I took a breath, a long one, and it felt like the first breath I had ever taken in my life. I felt a thousand pounds lighter. I felt released... But the anger and hopelessness had lost its fight."

Phillipians 4:7 says "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." and I know it is not only possible, it is true, because it happened to me, and to Pam Cope.


Regina said...

So is it a story of her life and her faith, or simply the story of how her life changed after she lost her son?

mama4x said...

It's a story about how she moved on from her grief by helping orphans and slaves.