14 September 2009

Beyond Endurance

This past weekend was a whirlwind women's retreat with the ladies from my local church- we watched Beth Moore's Loving Well (it was a conference in Tennessee a few years ago but they created a retreat-in-a-box from it). It was nice overall and she told the Hairbrush Story, which I loved seeing live with all the Beth Moore facial expressions accompanying it.

I had a terrible, horrible, no-good very bad week last week... just on the verge of throwing in the towel. Am I under attack since I started writing my book? Am I hormonal? Are things really any worse? I don't know... but God must've wanted me to go to the retreat. Before I left, a few people asked me "Where is the retreat?" "What is the topic?" and I was like, "I dunno! I don't care! I'm just going!" Well, God knew what was going to be taught.

Essentially the phrase that I boiled the weekend down to was "loving past human endurance." It just makes me feel tired to write it. Beth was teaching us how to access God's perfect love for us so that we can love the unlovable. She says that we can do it, and that we are like Jesus when we do. But I'm tired!

She said that we sometimes think that we have to earn God's love or we try to make him love us by what we do. But she said "God IS love" and that it is a part of him, not something that changes or wavers, similar to how I AM a woman, whether I dress up as something else or feel happy or angry, my nature is to be a woman. That was good to learn.

She talked a lot about testy people who are in our lives to help us be more like Jesus. She talked about how our foes are usually people we once loved and were close to. That usually the people who hurt you the most are the ones you let the closest. It was painful to think about my husband being my foe. It was a hard weekend being honest with women about my life. Now they know when they see me at church and they look at me like they know and that's tiring. I think I need to get up extra early all week and listen for God to tell me he loves me.


Karen True said...


My name is Karen True and I am the editor of the womensministry.net site, which is part of Jennifer Rothschild's ministry.

I've been doing some poking around on the internet this morning and stumbled across your lovely blog and this post specifically. It's so great to hear how God's message crisscrosses with your life at this retreat.

We send out a weekly newsletter to women who lead ministries and feature lots of helpful resources on our site. I'd love for you to write a review of the retreat for the site. Next week's newsletter will focus on "retreats in a box," and your review would be a great way to share your experience as well as your blog. Here's a link where you can post if you like. We'd love to hear from you.


Karen True